The Upload
Posted on Jun 27, 2014 by
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ:
I pray that you’ve had a blessed week.
As I was reading through some articles online this week, one, in particular, caught my attention that I just had to read. The headline read, “Should We Love Conditionally or Unconditionally?” It was actually a May 3, 2014 article from the New York Times that was an excerpt from a book entitled “The Myth of the Spoiled Child: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom About Children and Parenting” by Alfie Kohn.
The question raised in the article was whether it is better to show love conditionally or unconditionally to children, regardless of how they are acting. For instance, “Should we show affection to our children only when they are well behaved, properly self-controlled and, say, accomplished in competitive sports, the conditional approach? Or, should we always give our affection and regard to our children, even if we don’t like what they are doing or saying or are disappointed in their lack of performance, the unconditional approach?” Now, the author of the article argues that if you want to raise a child with positive psychological health, the research comes down on the side of unconditional love. Now, this approach does not, of course, preclude encouragement and the critique and/or discipline of particular behaviors that are unacceptable or inadequate.
As I read this article, I thought to myself, I don’t need the results of a research project to tell me this; God has been commanding us to love each other unconditionally since time began. Remember what God said to his people in the wilderness as he was teaching them to live as his chosen people?
“You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against any of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:18).
Or what about what Jesus taught?
Honor your father and mother. Also, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 19:19).
Or what about what Paul said to the Galatians?
“For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Galatians 5:14).
Loving unconditionally, whether it be our own children or others, is God’s way, and it is the only way to bring about God’s kingdom.
On Father’s Day, a church in Joplin, Missouri raffled off two automatic rifles. All you had to do to be entered into the raffle was come to church on Father’s Day. When this was brought to my attention, I was appalled. What were they thinking in Joplin? Did they forget that Jesus does not condone violence, no matter what?! Jesus is the one who instructed us to love unconditionally. He is the one who, when his own life was threatened, said to his disciples, "Put your sword back into its place; for all who take the sword will perish by the sword” (Matthew 26:52).
I don’t need a research study to tell me that unconditional love is what is needed in the world. The wholeness that is created in us when we are loved and love unconditionally is not something that is new. God has been commanding us to love this way from the beginning of creation, and from the beginning of creation humanity has sought to live by the sword instead (today, I think Jesus would speak against the use of guns). I don’t know what the pastor of that church in Joplin was thinking, but I know one thing, he wasn’t thinking of unconditional love.
I pray this week that all of us might remember God’s command to love unconditionally.
Have a blessed week!
Shalom,
Pastor Dave